i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
