I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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