You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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