My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
