Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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