Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
