Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
