operation harelip BJ is a go
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
