i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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