Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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