sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
