They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
