I bet he comes in French.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
