One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
soo... how was my night?
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