Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I have post one night stand depression
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