I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
