My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
