so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
