ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
