Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
