Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
