exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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