My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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