He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My boob is missing a layer of skin
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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