Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
