we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
