god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
operation have a gay friend backfired
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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