Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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