No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
