then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
