It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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