Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
