It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
