Having a random hookup so left but love u
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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