You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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