Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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