Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
