i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dicks are not precious.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
