We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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