Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
