somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
