Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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