but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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