he wants to bone in the snuggie
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
