hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
