and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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