i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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