Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
