i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
