in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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