I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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