So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
