We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
tell me about the eggs
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
